Bad Romance, Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange
by Jekyllhydeclub
Summary: Bad Romance, Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange The Lady Gaga song could've been written word for word for them, so had to write the fan fiche to match. We hope your spooky little dark heart enjoys!
1. Chapter 1

Bad Romance, Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange

The Lady Gaga song could've been written word for word for them, so had to write the fan fiche to match. We hope your spooky little dark heart enjoys!

Chapter 1, I want your love and your revenge

Bellatrix crowed with laughter, her wand sticking literally through the chest of her mark, blood jetting out and covering her in a warm red mist.

"Now that's class," Rodolphus called, his laughter mingling appreciatively with his wife's as he came to stand beside her. His look was admiring as he took in the way the blood caused her robes to cling to her figure.

"Don't change your clothes before bed,"' he requested huskily.

"I can't go in to report looking like this so you'll have to do it alone," she reasoned, drawing her wand from the dead Muggle's chest with a satisfying sucking sound.

"Leave the wand bloody too,"' Rodolphus said, still distracted by romantic thoughts. "I like the wand bloody when you crucio me. I think it actually enhances it."

Bellatrix frowned in thought. "Hm. Now that's interesting!"

"I want you riding me with that bloody wand in one hand," Rodolphus said, leaning toward her to growl his request low into her ear. Bellatrix felt herself shivering in anticipation.

"Oh yes," she agreed breathy. "Get to the stupid Ministry and make your report. I'll meet you at the compound."

They lived in a shared facility with other persons of special ministry employ. Most people believed Bellatrix Lestrange had actually gotten herself killed by the likes of stupid Molly Weasley and that Rod still rotted away in Azkaban, but the truth was they were now Ministry black ops after giving unbreakables not to ever betray the Ministry. They didn't do this out of any loyalty, of course. They did it to be free of Azkaban. The ministry had finally wised up and decided using their abilities was better than letting them rot in prison along with the minds that housed them.

The Muggle they'd just killed had discovered magic and was attempting to blackmail the ministry so he had to go. He was wealthy and could have some backing if allowed to live. Bella and Rod to the rescue again!


	2. Chapter 2

Bad Romance, A Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange Fan Fiction

The Lady Gaga song could've been written word for word for them, so had to write the fan fic to match. We hope your spooky little dark heart enjoys!

Chapter 2,  
(Love-love-love I want your love)

Bellatrix relished lounging on the bed in sticky blood clotted robes for a few minutes, but within half an hour the stuff was beginning to dry and flake. Where the hell was Rod? As if summoned by her impatience he burst through the door of their small, boring, Ministry-appointed apartment, a baffled and annoyed expression on his face.

"The fucking Ministry wants us to report now! It seems something is up and they want to brief us or question us, I'll be damned if I know which. It was all hush hush and weird," he complained. "As soon as I made my report they said both of us were required immediately for whatever the hell is going on."

Bellatrix made a face, frustration rising. "So they're ruining our romantic night," she said in disgust. "Just like the bloody stupid Ministry."

Rising with a toss of her long wild blood-spattered dark tresses she began tugging the robe over her head. "I'll just get cleaned up first I suppose. Stupid bloody..."

"They said there isn't time. Just come as you are," Rod said, his lips twisting into a smirk of satisfaction. "I did warn them. And at least you'll still be all sexy for later."

When the two of them strolled into the head auror's office, they were met at once by two underlings. "We need the two of you separated for security reasons," One rat faced overly thin man with too much self importance that he'd obviously not earned said. "We will question one while the other waits. You first, Please, Mrs. Lestrange."

Bellatrix was already scowling, unease and anger rising together in her belly like two pissed off Phoenix's lifting off from the ashes of her very annoyed mood. She didn't like separating from Rod. Ever. They just didn't. They were always together for everything. When they separated bad shit happened. Like when they were in separate sells in Azkaban, even though side by side, the Dementors got at them. Had they been allowed to share a cell, they could've just shagged through it all and blocked whatever the Dementors tried to send at them. Together they were worse than any Dementor, after all. The Ministry separating them didn't feel right. Not one bit.

"Why would you need to do that," she demanded. "We've done nothing wrong!"

The man gave a nervous chuckle. "Fancy a Lestrange actually saying that!" His face fell in a few seconds once he realized he was the only one laughing. "It's simply protocol. No one is saying you did anything," he said, attempting to reassure, but Bellatrix was not reassured.

Giving him a scowl that she hoped would curdle his blood she swept forward, flaunting her bloodied robes. "Fine, then, lets get this over with. You're screwing up our evening plans so lets make this fast." She nearly kept herself from shooting a worried look at Rod over her shoulder, but didn't quite make it. As the auror underling led her into the back office, she looked.


	3. Chapter 3

Bad Romance, Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange 

The Lady Gaga song could've been written word for word for them, so had to write the fan fic to match. We hope your spooky little dark heart enjoys! 

Chapter 3, I want your horror

"Have a seat, Mrs. Lestrange," the rat faced man invited in a tone that said the invitation was an order. He nodded to a hard looking straight backed chair. A quick assessing glance around the small room showed it to be the only seat. Bellatrix knew this meant he would stand while she sat. He was trying to play the dominance card. He had no idea who he was playing cards with.

She sat, regarding him through suddenly narrowed eyes. He went to stand in the middle of the small room, a few feet away from where she sat. "I think I am calling you, Mr. Rat. You haven't given me a name and I don't want one. Mr. Rat suits you far better than any name your mouse faced mother could give you."

Unruffled by the insult, or at least appearing so, Mr. Rat moved to the right wall and flicked his wand at it. It rolled aside to show what at first Bella took to be a mirror, only she didn't reflect when peering into it. It seemed instead to be a large panel of clear quartz crystal. It flickered with an inner blue light that rapidly changed to green then purple, then orange, then red, then gray then black before going back to blue again.

"What is that," she demanded, wondering if he'd actually tell her.

"I will answer that at the end of this conversation, I assure you, Mrs. Lestrange," he said calmly.

"First I have a few questions for you. Well more than a few actually. First, what do you know of Delphini?"

"Who?" Bellatrix blinked in confusion. "That someone I'm supposed to know?"

Mr. Rat shrugged. This was another question he apparently wasn't going to answer. "Did you have a close relationship with the man you called Lord Voldemort?"

Bellatrix glared. "This is stupid! You know we did. Rod and I were his top Death Eaters and you know that! What is this about," she demanded. "Haven't we been good little killers for you?"

Again seemingly not one for answering questions Mr. Rat asked another instead. "Yes, of course, but were you and your Lord Voldemort closer than even that?"

Bellatrix blinked in confusion as she scowled at him. "He taught me when I was young. Just before Rod and I got married I impressed him enough to have private lessons. So that I could better fight and kill for him!" She felt that old avid admiration and worship rising up in her heart again which caused her scowl to deepen. This time it was directed at herself, though.

That life was over and done. Not only that, but their lord had turned on his closest more than once, a point that had become painfully clear to Bella in the end. When he treated her and some of the few others he held close like dirt under his feet instead of powerful wizards fighting for him who adored him and deserved none of his ill will it forced her to see things about him she never wished to know. He nearly treated them as enemies back then. That's what Horcruxes did to one she supposed. Unless he was mad even before he made a single one because not even she would've ever done that. She loved Bellatrix and wasn't trying to part with any of herself!

A glance at Mr. Rat showed him studying the large crystal panel which took up most of the right wall. Its lights were flickering again, this time to a darker blue. Nodding to himself he turned his gaze back to Bellatrix.

"Did he ever attempt to touch you during these private magic lessons?"

Bellatrix drew herself up indignantly, ready to defend the man she'd just been thinking treasonous thoughts of a moment before.

"Of course not, don't be sick! It wasn't like that and he knew I was with Rod. Everyone knew!" The idea of The Dark Lord doing anything like that was offensive as it lowered him to a more base primitive position rather than uplifting him to the god they had all believed him to be back then.

"Are you saying that you were never sexual with your lord?" Mr. Rat's question came out incredulous and this caused hot anger to war with disgust in Bella's mind.

"Of course that's what I am saying, you bloody idiot! I love my husband. I was always with Rod and only Rod, which is, by the by, none of your bloody business! The Dark Lord wasn't sexual. He was above such things with his mind on higher matters," she proclaimed.

She nearly said his mind and soul, then realized even in her indignant state that, thanks to the Horcruxes, he hadn't exactly had one.


	4. Chapter 4

Bad Romance, Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange  
The Lady Gaga song could've been written word for word for them, so had to write the fan fic to match. We hope your spooky little dark heart enjoys!  
Chapter 4, I want your drama

"So you didn't conceive a baby with your dark lord when you escaped from Azkaban in late 1997," Mr. Rat asked, giving her a doubtful look.

Bellatrix leaned forward in her chair toward the man, eyes narrowing once more and growing hard and dangerous. Anyone who knew anything about her would've been soiling themselves at that look, but the man's pants still appeared unfortunately fresh. "Look, Rat. I am tired of playing whatever stupid game you've invented. Why don't you tell me just what the hell it is that you want, because otherwise I'm finished here."

"I assure you, Mrs. Lestrange, this is no game. There is a young woman claiming to be your daughter and causing quite a bit of trouble in the wizarding world because she's angry that her father, Lord Voldemort, was killed. Let us say she has daddy issues."

Bellatrix was unable to keep her eyes from widening in shock at that...But, no the rat couldn't be serious! "If I had a baby, I think I'd know it," she spat sarcastically. "A medical exam should prove as much. You're all bloody stupid. And with the dark lord! That's so disrespectful and sick," she concluded, not bothering to hide her disgust with the rat faced Ministry official before her. She'd still love to kill them all. Weak, incompetent, brainless and now they'd apparently added sick to their list of shortcomings. They didn't deserve power. They certainly didn't deserve to have it over her and Rod, both obviously superior wizards to any of their ilk on all levels.

"Interesting," Mr. Rat said thoughtfully, his gaze going to the crystal panel on the right wall. Bellatrix's eyes followed his to see the crystal had turned a sickly green.

"Matches my mood," she drawled dryly and Mr. Rat actually chuckled and nodded.

"As it should, Mrs. Lestrange. It's doing what it's supposed to do. Now just a few more questions if you will. What if he'd wanted to have this baby for an heir. Wouldn't you have been perfect for such an honor as that?"

"He needed no heir! He was immortal as he saw it, so he needed no successor when he wasn't planning to die."

Bellatrix wondered if carrying the Dark Lord's baby had he required it would've felt like an honor and the thought caused her to shudder. No. She was married to Rod and did not want any children for any reason! Carrying a baby put strain and limitations on the body that she had no interest in. It weakened one as did succoring brats. Leave all that to her sister.

Not only that, though, having The Dark Lord on a pedestal above them where he belonged and deserved to be was one thing. Having his hands on her was another entirely. Before Mr. Rat's disturbing questions such disrespectful sacrilege had never occurred to her. But now that the mental damage had been done, she was lost in the horror of the thought. His face, those serpentine features and that cold voice, he was a god but there was no passion there. Nore should there be! She envisioned Rod's mouth on hers hot and demanding as her legs wrapped around him and his hand tangled in her hair, tugging her head back hard enough to cause her to gasp in pleasure. Rod, though, a wizard who could match her twisted desires and keep up with her effortlessly. And no offense to their former lord, of course, but bloody hot too!

"Exactly what are you thinking, Mrs. Lestrange," Mr. Rat asked calmly.

"About shagging my husband bloody, if you must know, which I'd be doing right now were I not here playing whatever stupid game this is with you!" She hoped the admission made Rat uncomfortable, but it likely only made his stupid day to imagine such passion as he surely had none of his own.


	5. Chapter 5

Bad Romance, Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange  
The Lady Gaga song could've been written word for word for them, so had to write the fan fic to match. We hope your spooky little dark heart enjoys!  
Chapter 5, Cause you're a criminal as long as you're mine

Rat's next question took Bella's mind off carnal thoughts of Rod and returned it to its current state of annoyed. "Have you any idea, Mrs. Lestrange, why this young woman, calling herself Delphini, would claim to be your daughter and the child of your former dark lord?"

"No idea," Bellatrix drawled. "For attention perhaps? Notoriety. It's not my problem. Can't you lot do anything? Give her a blood test and you'll see she's lying."

Mr. Rat nodded thoughtfully. "We'd love to do just that, Mrs. Lestrange, but you see we're unable to capture her. we're hoping you're interested in assisting us with that. Are you willing?"

"Sure." Bellatrix shrugged. Then her mouth spread into that old familiar manic smile that had been the last thing many a wizard or Muggle had seen just before they screamed their last. "I'm also more than happy to put her to the question. As many questions as you'd like, in fact. The more questions the better!"

At last Mr. Rat looked a little nervous, causing Bella's smile to grow as her mood improved ever so slightly.

"Well Mrs. Lestrange, you've passed our test," he informed her, expression becoming almost pleasant as he forced a smile. "That panel there on the wall that you were inquiring about earlier is an emotion scanner, and your emotions accurately reflected what you were saying, clearly indicating you spoke the truth. You have no romantic interest in the man who was known as Lord Voldemort and you did not have a child with him," he informed her.

"You don't say!" Bellatrix rolled her eyes and stood. "Can I go now," she demanded.

"Just one more thing," Mr. Rat said almost regretfully. "We just need to do one final test to ensure that your memories weren't changed or removed in any way. We now know that you believe you are speaking the truth, but someone could've removed your memories for security. To keep this Delphini safe."

Bellatrix scowled. "Hurry up with it then," she growled. The man approached her and she sat back down in the chair. He drew a wand which caused her eyes to narrow in mistrust. "What are you doing, Rat?"

"I am performing a charm over your head that will detect anything having ever been done to your memories. It will not harm you. It will only tell us if anything was ever done to your memories."

Bellatrix wanted to rail against this stupidity, but her heart began to race instead as an unpleasant and foreign anxiety began to flood her. What if something had been done? What if The Dark Lord had...Had made her..." "He was so unkind in the end," she said between suddenly rapid breaths. "So unkind to those who were always so loyal...And his eyes were wrong...Worse than empty and cold...When he was angry and got into your personal space, you just wanted to back up."

So if that had unsettled her, a thing she'd not allowed herself to ever think about now it was all over, what would him touching her have done! God if he had and she had to remember that...One hand came to her chest as she felt her entire body shaking. "I want Rod," she demanded. "Now!"

Her slender fingers wrapped around the solid cold weight of the raven skull she wore about her neck. It was the Lestrange family symbol and she'd worn it with pride from the time Rod had given it to her in highschool to show the world she was his. She didn't want to be hear having a mild panic attack and trying not to fucking cry! She didn't like this foreign feeling of near hysterical upset. Shit she caused this in others, she didn't feel it! She was the reason for it!

"I want to kill someone or torture someone, or fuck my husband senseless! I don't want to do this!"

"It's over, Mrs. Lestrange. We're done. Nothing was done to your mind. We only need to question your husband now and then the two of you are free to resume your normal evening activities in the compound."

It took Bellatrix's panicked mind a moment to process his words and she gave a sob of relief. Nothing had been done! Standing she rushed for the door, flinging it open and heading into the main office. Rod was slumped in a chair in the corner of the room looking bored, but he stood when Bella burst in.

"You alright, Babe," he asked, hands reaching for her shoulders.

"She's fine, Mr. Lestrange," Rat's voice said from behind Bella. "She just wants to go home, I think, and the sooner you come with me and answer a few questions, the sooner that can happen, so please cooperate."

Rod looked concerned, eyes still on Bella's face. "Yeah," he asked her and she nodded then gave him a brief hug hard enough to creek his ribs.

"Just hurry."

Rod followed the man into the back and Bellatrix slumped into the chair he'd vacated. It was still warm. "Want to hear his answers," the minister asked with an amused smile. "We couldn't let him hear yours as his results need to be untainted, but as you've obviously already passed, you can hear his if you like.

"Alright," Bellatrix said, curious if they'd ask Rod if he'd shagged the dark lord as well.


	6. Chapter 6

Bad Romance, Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange  
The Lady Gaga song could've been written word for word for them, so had to write the fan fic to match. We hope your spooky little dark heart enjoys!  
Chapter 6, I don't wanna be friends!

Rodolphus wasn't concerned as he settled into the straight backed chair in the nearly empty room. They had been good little killers, after all, so whatever this was likely had nothing to do with them. Just something stupid with the Ministry and its red tape somehow. He looked expectantly at the thin official who stood before him. "Well? What's this about?"

"I was hoping you could tell me, Mr. Lestrange. Did you know there was a young lady named Delphini claiming to be the child of your wife and your former dark lord?"

"No. Had no idea," Rodolphus said. "What's she getting out of that, I wonder?"

"Power and followers, or at least that's what she seems to be hoping for," the official replied. "Did you know that your wife had a relationship with Tom Riddle?"

Rodolphus studied him for a moment, confused by the odd turn of phrase. It was the Ministry after all, so whatever. "If you mean the fact Bella was his favorite, sure everyone knew. IT was no secret, and she deserved all the favor she got. She's brilliant and talented."

And by all bloody rights should be riding him right now with that bloody wand in hand, but instead this bullshit...

"What about more," the man asked.

"Yeah he gave her private lessons. She taught me some of it later." Shit should he have told them that? Fuck! Get him so bored and impatient that he says more than he should, he grumped to himself. But that should hardly matter anymore. The dark lord was long dead and they were here serving thee fucking Ministry to stay out of Azkaban.

"Private lessons? What if they were doing something else? How would you have felt if your former lord had wanted other things from your wife?"

"Well, he is the Lord, I guess. I mean, I don't see why he would want any of that, but it is a kind of honor. Like being graced by a king, or a god. Maybe a king.

In truth, I always thought of him as a king. The kind that gives his loyal followers rewards, Noble titles and such.

When you think about it, if we would kill for him, die for him, name our children in his name, not that we had any plans for children, but you catch my drift. A little screw here and there wouldn't matter much..." Rodolphus trailed off in response to the clerk's hand motion, warning him to stop.

Wondering again if he'd said too much trying to be cooperative and thorough, Rod relaxed when the man explained what he needed, pointing to a grey crystal.

"Our device shows us that your answer is true thus far, but incomplete. Would you like to elaborate?" the Ministry official suggested, and Rodolphus took it to mean that he had little choice on the matter.

"Alright, what else is there? I don't know if you care, but, I mean, I would do the same. If the Dark Lord wanted me to get ready fo him, pleasure him in any way, I guess I wouldn't care too much. Now it might be different, since he got mean to us, stopped rewarding us, and we are better served serving the Ministry. So basically, we're still your faithful little toys, whatever that Delphini character needs. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Rodolphus wondered.

The man peered at something remote and then decisively nodded. " Excellent. Now tell me, how did you respond to the passionate love letters our former employee Dolores Umbrage sent to you on her specially selected pink scrolls?"

Rodolphus Lestrange blinked in surprise and then widely smiled. "Well, I am attractive as fuck, so that is not surprising I have secret admirers. But I don't know who that woman is, and have not received her love letters or anything else from such a person," Rod thoughtfully concluded, trying to be precise in what he said.

"Very good," the clerk casually responded. "This ascertains the veracity of your statements. You may now reunite with your wife and wait for the final results. The Spell is going to analyze all the fine details at a greater depth in case the preliminary conclusions were too superficial.

We will let you know in five to ten minutes. Thank you for your patience," the Ministry official added indifferently and Rodolphus slowly got up, shrugged, and went to see how Bella was faring.


	7. Chapter 7

The Lady Gaga song could've been written word for word for them, so had to write the fan fic to match. We hope your spooky little dark heart enjoys! 

Chapter 7, I want your psycho

Bellatrix heard basically what she expected to hear for the beginning of Rod's bullshit interview. Then the questions about her shagging The Dark Lord started and she began to feel that unexpected yet understandable horror and revulsion crawling over her again. She was oddly and unpleasantly distracted by Rod's response, though. He would've been alright with The Dark Lord making her shag him? She gave a wordless shriek of outrage that caused the Minister to start and nearly drop her tea cup.

"He wouldn't even have attempted to stop it or to protect me," Bellatrix shrieked. "I'll hex his eyes out...I'll hex his balls off!"

"I truly prefer the later to the former, as his eyes probably help him to do a better job for us," The Minister said, a light note of amusement in her tone. "Though if you do the later, you might regret it eventually."

Bellatrix only glared, then returned her gaze to the round mirror on the minister's desk through which Rod's interview' could be heard and seen. Bellatrix nearly choked when Rod, just as calmly as he'd spoke of her shagging their former lord being an honor, said the same of himself! At this the Minister herself even gave a titter of shocked laughter while Bellatrix made a sound of disgust.

"Damn did you people have no limits truly," the minister asked through another incredulous giggle.

"I obviously had one limit," Bellatrix snarled, arms going up to hug herself. "Or didn't you watch my session with Mr. Rat?"

"With who," the minister asked, then with an incredulous chuckle, "Oh...Yes...Mr. Rat...That's mean," but she giggled again anyway, then looked guilty for finding amusement in the fitting pet name of one of her hideously ugly and dull underlings. That was the trouble with people who believed themselves to be good. They felt guilty about their true feelings and stifled them, Bella thought with a flash of contempt.

Rod came out then and she sprang up to glare at him as she drew her wand. "I can't believe you'd just hand me over to him," she exploded, eyes flashing. "Just hand me over like it didn't matter!"

Rodolphus made his situation worse by gaping at her in all too honest surprise. "What's the big deal? You loved him more than anyone. If he'd wanted that of you would you not have been honored? I mean you'd have done anything for him. You said that over and over."

Bellatrix simply glared at her husband, sputtering wordlessly as she struggled to find words through her rage and strange sudden feeling of hurt. It stabbed at her chest with a pain that she didn't find at all pleasant or tantalizing. "People are supposed to love their god more than anything, but not like that and I'd never taken it into what you and I have," she said through a suddenly constricted throat. It was surprisingly difficult to breathe, but one thing wasn't all difficult to do. Lifting her wand she pointed it at her husband's chest. "Crucio!"


	8. Chapter 8

Bad Romance, Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange  
The Lady Gaga song could've been written word for word for them, so had to write the fan fic to match. We hope your spooky little dark heart enjoys!  
Chapter 8, baby you're sick  
"Crucio! Crucio! Crucio!"  
Bellatrix screamed the word, meaning it with her entire being. Her eyes flashed with rage as her wand stabbed toward various areas of her husband's body as she vented her hurt and rage.  
"You wouldn't have protected me!" Needing more suffering from her other half she flew at him, free hand balling into a fist that struck at his chest, arms and even throat. For now she avoided his face due to the fact it was hot and looking it all swollen or bloody would only make her more angry.  
The minister shifted in her chair, frowning in concern, obviously wondering if she should interfere. "Don't kill him," she said at last, tone concerned.  
Rodolphus Lestrange had to admit to being confused. On the one hand, Bella chose to berate him. Yet her actions seemed to contradict her mood. The Unforgivable Curse made him writhe in delicious pain, smiling at the memory of better days. "So you are pleased then? Oh Bella, I love you too. You are the best!" Rod declared through the exclamations of wonderful agony.  
"So glad this is all behind us," he added hopefully, the final bout of pain making him slur some of his words.

The minister gaped in shock at Rodolphus's openly sexual pleasure when being given extreme pain. She then gave an incredulous laugh.

Ignoring her, Bellatrix kicked Rod in the side. "No this is not behind us! The fact that you don't give a shit about me is not behind us. And how can you love me if you'd have just stood there and...let him...and not even fought for me!"

She hated herself for the tears that sprang to her eyes, the sob that broke from her and the fist of pain pressing into her chest. Stupid feelings. She hated them, hated herself for being weak enough to feel this rubbish and hated Rod most for his part in them. "I thought you had my back. That you'd always fight for me...I thought this meant something. Gods! I'd have done anything for you! Even over our lord I'd have done anything for you!"

She broke into wordless sobs of rage then, aiming her wand at Rodolphus's head. Somehow she doubted he'd enjoy a headache, but at the moment she was too upset to work up a good crucio. Upset...She felt empty inside and miserable and lost and betrayed and let down and hell things she couldn't even name. Shaking her head she dropped her wand to the carpeted floor and sank into the chair she'd watched Rod's interview in. She felt lost and worse, and wanted this to just stop but the tears didn't care what she wanted...obviously.

"It's not behind us? I don't understand. We were good, we were devoted, but we were also happy..." Rod said, puzzled. "You never said I needed to defend you from anyone. Hell, I always assumed everybody else would need defending from you," Lestrange feebly smiled. "Of course I would defend you with my life if you said you needed it. What's wrong, babe? Oh, I get it. The test messed with you, didn't it? Some unexpected emotional effect it had on you? It probably doesn't affect other people, because they are all pathetically boring, so the Ministry people didn't know it can mess emotions up. That's what I think," the Dark wizard suggested, hopefully looking at Bella and the Minister in turn. He has never seen Bella like this and didn't know what to do.

"You will get better soon, we'll be just fine, Bella. Of course I love you. You know it. You don't mean any of it, not really. You're like upset now, but a good Cruciatus would fix that, and you'll be just dandy. Alright, babe?" Rod inquired almost pleadingly, completely out of his comfort zone.


	9. Chapter 9

Bad Romance, Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange  
The Lady Gaga song could've been written word for word for them, so had to write the fan fic to match. We hope your spooky little dark heart enjoys! 

Chapter 9, I want your everything as long as it's free  
T

he minister gave Rod a perplexed look but wisely opted to keep her mouth shut as things unfolded how they would. She couldn't help but think how twisted these people were that they couldn't have normal feelings or normal emotions or for gods sake a normal conversation! Then again they'd been Voldemort's favorites so...

Bellatrix struggled to process Rodolphus's words through the misery that threatened to consume her. He was talking rubbish. He didn't understand! Could he simply be pretending? Raising her head she gave him a glare. His honestly perplexed expression plainly indicated that indeed he SOMEHOW did not understand!

"I heard your interview," she shouted. "You would've just handed me over to The Dark Lord without a fight. Like Property! Hell in my mind we were best friends, lovers, warriors together for the cause and to you I was pretty property! This is such bullshit!"

The tears just wouldn't stop. She hunched in upon herself, lowering her head.

"Well yes, you heard me right. But Bella, my beautiful, it would never have occurred to me that you would object. You never said that there were any limitations to our service. My understanding was this: we serve well, we get rewarded, Muggles die, we live happily ever after. You never told 'me you would be loyal only conditionally. That there is something you would not do for Him. I mean, sure, we wouldn't do a Horcrux, but then we didn't know he did either at the time. So why would we even have considered doing one? It wasn't in the realm of possibility then. The same applies here. We never discussed such matters.

Sure, it was agreed that we were well matched. We rocked together, we were everything to one another. But you never said anything about the Dark Lord not being above such agreements. If you understood it was implied somehow, then for me it was equally implied that the Lord overrides all other considerations. He gets everything, even the things we would refuse others or ourselves. I thought it was a special case with Him where we were concerned. I thought you were even more devoted to him than I was. Not by much, and we were very close in how we served, but I never thought you would be the one who put boundaries on your service. I am surprised honestly, it doesn't sound like you, Bella Darling. Are you sure the tests didn't affect her emotional state? Please tell me you tried something experimental and it failed on her," Rodolphus helplessly asked the Minister.

"I am a really good toy for you, so wind me up, if necessary, but let Bella recharge, come on man. We may not be your favorite playthings, but we weren't that bad at working for you," the Dark wizard pleaded, realizing something had to be done to Bellatrix for her to change her story. ,

"The test involved nothing that wasn't stated," the Minister replied simply. She was honestly shocked by Bellatrix's reaction herself and nearly wanted to go and comfort the other woman, but she just couldn't. This was still Bellatrix Lestrange and she had done awful things for which she would never be sorry. So what if she wouldn't shag Voldemort. Most people would not shag Voldemort.

Could she grow anymore upset, Bellatrix wondered. It was too much. She felt as though she could truly lose her mind. The fact Rodolphus would've left her to whatever The Dark Lord had become made her feel so much worse than empty.

"I never thought he'd ever ask us to shag, so forgive me, Rod for never considering that at all much less as a limit of mine! Just when it was asked...I suppose I value myself most of all. Myself and you if it had to come to that!" The thought of The Dark Lord touching her made her realize all the more how much of herself she could've lost from that.

"Hell he'd probably have tried to turn you into a Horcrux while shagging. That's the only reason I can think why he'd ever want to," the Minister said with a shudder she didn't bother hiding.

"The test, though, it was only a joke. There is no Delphini. There is noone saying you shagged Voldemort, Bellatrix. Just we needed to test your loyalty because...We do have a problem and we need you to help solve it.

First, though, we needed to know we could truly trust you. We'll have to release you and allow you freedom in France for at least a month. If the general wizarding population heard of this there would be mass panic, so we will need you both going completely under cover. There is a dangerous wizarding cabal forming there and we need you to take them out."

Bellatrix could hardly believe her ears. They were being set free, if even for a limited amount of time, and being allowed to kill a lot of people! It was wonderful, and exciting! Oh the torture...Wait... "We can torture them first, can't we," she asked.

The Minister frowned then sighed. "Of course you would ask that, you are you after all. Sure I guess if it keeps you happy. They are awful people. Just make sure to kill them. Do not let them get away."

"Of course not," Bella huffed. What do you take us for?"


	10. Chapter 10

Bad Romance, Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange 

The Lady Gaga song could've been written word for word for them, so had to write the fan fic to match. We hope your spooky little dark heart enjoys! 

Chapter 10, Ga-ga-Ooh-la-la! 

Can you be ready to leave tomorrow," the minister asked, and Bellatrix nodded. "Good. We'll have your information packet with all you need to know on the cabal ready with your disguises and everything else you will need including fake identities to you in the morning." She gave them both a stern frown. "Don't think for a moment you won't be being watched because you will be being watched! And we'll have magical trackers on you. Don't think to screw me over or you will both die."  
For a small blonde with cute ringlet curls, the girl Minister's face looked hard as stone, her blue-gray eyes cold. Bellatrix knew the look for what it was, a death promise were they to misstep. This girl's ministry wasn't soft or slow like the others. She may be cute and harmless seeming, but she was wise enough to kill most hard criminals rather than locking them away, thus Bellatrix and Rodolphus had plenty of work to have them earning their keep.  
"Yes, we understand. We have no plans to screw you over. We may be insane but we aren't stupid," Bellatrix told the Minister as she stood. The blonde nodded, then smiled.  
"Hey did you like my little joke? Wasn't it funny?" She giggled. "Voldemort shagging...I mean...haha..."  
Bellatrix did not smile. Instead she shuddered. "You...you ruined something for me. I'm not exactly sure yet what it was, but no, I did not find your little...joke funny."  
"Oh come-on!" The Minister heaved a sigh. "I actually had a nightmare about Hermione Granger being Minister instead of me the night I found out about the cabal. I think my decision to send you two in made me paranoid or something..." She shrugged slender shoulders. "Either way I worked up that fun little test with the help of a few friends and...well we had lots of laughs. Kreacher didn't even think you'd believe it, so really I didn't expect you to get upset."

The Minister's friendship with Kreacher was what kept Bellatrix and Rodolphus alive and useful to the Ministry, so her mention of him was likely no accident. Most humans would never strike up a friendship with elves or goblins, but this Minister chose to utilize the abilities of all magical beings who were willing to make the wizarding world a better place. She did not seek to stifle them as wizards before her had done, and even if Bellatrix and Rodolphus still looked down their aristocratic noses at such thoughts, the country was a stronger and more powerful one with goblin and elf magic being used to make it so along side that of wizards.

Once more Bellatrix did not smile. 

"That is just wastefully mean," Rodolphus spoke unhappily, though perhaps relieved that the worst of it might be over. He didn't even bother mentioning how he was handsome and the Dark Lord could have other uses for him, than a mere Horcrux. Pride aside, sometimes he did have the wits to keep his mouth shut. Unless of course Bella wanted him to scream. Right then he knew enough not to provoke Bellatrix back into her sulk 

"If Granger were the Minister, I suppose you would still be working at the Ministry too. Working under her, no less. Now that is what I call funny!" Rodolphus retorted with a smirk hoping his usual charm would remind Bella of how good things between them were. 

"You know, it's kind of poetic really. My family was originally from France after all," Rod thoughtfully considered. "To leave my mark there would be most suitable, like home coming of sorts.. Don't you worry Minister Boxwood, we shall make you proud," Rod confidently reassured, tentatively turning his smile on Bella.

Bellatrix smiled back at Rod, though a part of her heart remained angry with him. Still fuck they were going to be free for the first time in a long time, to live like they could have had they never been locked away in Azkaban. No matter that the Ministry would be riding their ass, at least it was a ministry she could respect at least a little. They'd gotten tougher and smarter, after all.

But Rod had not. Rod had shown her that he wasn't the completely devoted husband she'd believed him to be. He would've just given her over to that...And then she felt a sudden stab of guilt because, in truth, The Dark Lord had actually done nothing. He hadn't attempted to touch her ever. Bellatrix sighed, confused and still very upset in spite of the excitement leaving for France gave her.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11, And you know that I need you  
The next morning, peering at the files dedicated to the cabal, Rodolphus Lestrange looked up in surprise.  
"They steal magic...but how? Is it through their physical touch, or with their wand? Is it sufficient to be in their vicinity? Is their awareness of our presence even necessary to steal it?  
Or could it be some charm, that we might detect with spells of our own? Are there missing files here? Cause I don't see enough information..." Rod complained at the official Bella had dubbed Mr Rat.  
It wasn't just about his looks, Rodolphus decided when they discussed last night and how he'd conducted the interview. It was about his personality. Possibly the very reason he was here was not only because he'd been responsible for gathering Intel, but merely to annoy them with a constant reminder of how lowly they have sunk. To be guided by this rat of a man.  
Mr Rat in the mean time sadly shrugged. "All surprisingly good questions, to be sure. However our intel is limited to what you see.  
We suspect our French colleagues had a leak of information, something to do with a sordid affair in their Ministry of Magic of the kind the two of you might appreciate. A high ranking Auror may have been compelled to work some of the time on behalf of the cabal, and hide their tracks. We could not risk any more agents exposed to the cabal, so have to rely on an incomplete dossier..."  
"But you can naturally risk us, based on incomplete information," Rod demanded sarcastically, with an arched eyebrow. Fortunately he wasn't even too mad and so wasn't surprised when Mr Rat, unperturbed, responded in kind.  
"We have utmost certainty in your superior skills," he said and Rodolphus had to wonder, if there would be any point in which he would be rewarded for his service tormenting the man.  
"Are we allowed any special protections," Bellatrix demanded of Mr. Rat, eyes narrowing on the man. "Protections in way of extra weapons, or protective or defensive amulets," she pressed. She hadn't missed his snarky comment, indicating his surprise that Rod had noticed pertinent points without having to be guided to them. He and Bella were very skilled wizards and that took brains. A thing Mr. Rat had obviously overlooked. Bella longed for the day she'd be able to break this one. If she could only work it where it wouldn't break her vow to the stupid ministry.  
She was pleasantly sore from her romp with Rod last night. After they'd returned to their quarters in the compound, their physical needs for one another had to be gotten out of the way first before they could talk over their new situation. Angry with him she may be, but he was still hot and she had planned to have that all evening.  
"Indeed," Mr Rat added with something that Rod could almost interpret as indecision. He made a mental note then to watch for loopholes, omissions in his briefing, or troubles of a general nature. After all, anything the unshakeable clerk found disconcerting or had doubts about, could easily bite the two of them in the ass.  
"We have some charmed pendants that could serve as temporary reservoirs, should the enemy manage to surprise you and steal some of your magic. We also have amulets to alert you to hostile intentions around you. There are even a few glyphs to fend off some of the darker spells. We will get you ready..." Mr Rat spoke in a manner that Rodolphus felt lacked confidence.  
"Then what is the matter with you, why didn't you say so right away, what are you hiding," he challenged, unable to restrain himself anymore.  
"Well, some of the spells are experimental. They could cause nausea, indigestion, black outs, and a few other interesting side effects," the Ministry official explained with an expression Rod was not able to place precisely, except that this time it looked sincere, and too amused for his comfort.  
"Any more questions before we start layering these protections?" Mr Rat wondered somewhat sardonically and with a sigh, Rod sadly shook his head in negation.  
For her part Bella simply shot Rat-face an acid glare. "Layer away," she commanded haughtily. Silently she reminded herself that they would do the Minister no good dead. So the Ministry wasn't trying to get them killed. It didn't mean that it wouldn't happen regardless...But no! They were the Lestranges. The most terrifying couple alive, and they had this.  
"So are we covertly watching them at their known hideouts and taking them down via assassination or do you expect us to infiltrate them or what's the plan," Bellatrix asked. "I assume you lot have that bit worked out," she asked testily.  
"Contrarily to what you think, we value our employees and don't wish them dead. Infiltration may or may not work, but observing them from a hideout, should be safer. If you like, we have a safe place which you could operate at your leisure. Its owners would be aware of your affiliation and would be instructed to help you out to the best of their frankly limited abilities.  
Alternatively, we are also supplying you with some bank notes signed by higher ranking Goblins that ought to be honored anywhere abroad. Should you need to separate from our field operatives and set up your own base of operations, you shall be equipped to do just that," Mr Rat patiently explained.  
Bellatrix was mildly surprised that they had choices. "Good. options are wise." It was a surprise to see the Ministry becoming wise, but the new Minister, being a former Slytherin, at least had her head partly in the right place save for working too much with goblins and elves.  
"I didn't want to play double agent so that's a relief," she said. "This place from which we can watch the activities of the cabal. What is it, a house, a business, what and the owners you speak of who can help us, do they live there? Are we living with other people?"  
"The safe place masquerades as a wand shop. The amount of wands available there is of course limited, the transactions are sparse. The back room is isolated with silencing and other spells from the front where the transactions take place.  
The proprietors are a unusual bunch. They are a couple of pure blooded wizards, brother and sister, with a streak for adventure and disgust for their country. We invited them here, offered them some basic training. They are good at the acting part required from aspiring secret operatives, but not as great with battle spells.  
They could mainly offer you cover, orientation in an unfamiliar city. As for the rest, it will be up to your discretion. If you feel like giving them a concrete task, they might be able to accomplish it. You have the authority to use them as you please, at any rate. No questions will be asked, so long as you succeed in you mission," Mr Rat added with a smile Rod found uncomfortably ominous.  
Bellatrix, though, for her part, merely smiled back at Mr. Rat. Some day, she silently vowed, he would so learn his place...to the oh so musical sound of his own screams. "But why are we there if asked? What's our cover? Where do we live? With these siblings you speak of or elsewhere? Or is all that up to us?"  
The question she didn't ask, at least not yet, involved the likelihood of his giving only enough information for them to hang themselves with. Was he trying to screw them over so they'd make a mistake? Bellatrix was under no illusion that everyone in the Ministry of Magic was fine and dandy with the Minister's choice to use them. Kereston Boxwood saw it as making the Lestranges pay their debt to society by utilizing their skills, but many officials, including all of the bloody Aurors, were still terrified of them and rightly so.  
Mr Rat, at least to Rodolphus' mind, regarded them like intelligent animals who just learned how to speak.  
"The truth is, we could not come up with a perfect cover story so far. Some of us believed that you could be most natural in the capacity of the so called Wand Tamers.  
In France, this is an informal designation that describes darker wizards, those who not only specialize in some elements of wand lore, but also enjoy subverting wands inherited from dead owners. Those who can break the wand and make it serve a new master, whether the wand wishes for it or not.  
The advantage of classifying you as Wand Tamers would be that you wouldn't have to deal with customers directly, and would already possess some relevant skills. The disadvantage is that such wizards are often younger than you.  
We have also considered introducing you as familial connections to the siblings, unfortunately their facial features and color of hair do not match yours. Perhaps if you are said to be their cousins...I am afraid the three of us who have been working on your cover story haven't reached an agreement about the best course of action. It may be because my colleagues are a goblin and an elf, and do not fully understand human wizards. Be that as it may, we decided to leave the details to you. Should you accept our idea of Wand Tamers, we could supply the necessary references in French, just let us know in advance, " Mr Rat concluded, clearly unhappy that some details could not be fully planned.

Bellatrix was surprised that she'd never heard of wand taming. She slid a questioning glance to Rod, arching her brows. He had family connections in France, so perhaps he had. The concept was fascinating to her and exciting rather. She enjoyed breaking the wills of people...why not wands?

"Indeed that's right up our alley," she told Mr. Rat, eyes glittering in excitement at the prospect. Finally a new adventure!

"What, wand tamers lose their abilities at a certain age," Bellatrix demanded, annoyed about the comment of wand tamers being younger than she and Rod were. What? They were still hot and plenty spry. Why just last night...


	12. Chapter 12

Bad Romance  
Chapter 12:  
Je veux ton amour  
Rodolphus Lestrange merely shrugged in response to Bella's implied question. He never heard himself about wand tamers. In fact, if Mr Rat were not a Ministry official, he would have suspected some subterfuge, including a dangerous trap. Even now, he was not sure how far he could trust the cunning little man, and did not intend to risk everything on his say so.  
"Wand taming follows certain trends," Mr Rat was explaining in the mean time, not bothered by their questions, or their distrust.  
"50 years ago it was deemed that only older people, with sufficient knowledge of wand lore, could be expected to be wand tamers. And now, it is the opposite.  
The French community of wizards seems to believe that only the younger people have the creativity necessary for understanding and communicating with wands. The youth factor became so prevalent, that even students who still haven't graduated from Beauxbatons can expect to be hired as trainees, provided they have the necessary set of skills.  
Trends, popularity, all nonsense if you ask me, but people would be expecting younger wizards for the job, that is the unfortunate truth that creates the difficulty for our cover story," the Ministry employee spoke with some regret .  
"Well you said we'd be working in the back of the shop out of sight, so I'm glad to be an old school wand tamer," Bellatrix said firmly. Then she gave a wicked smile, eyes glittering with mad promise. "Anyone asks...we'll just tame them." She grinned over at Rod, already hoping for a reason to tame someone as soon as they got to France. "What's next? What else needs to be taken care of before we can leave," she asked, not bothering not to sound eager. She was so ready to get out of here and enjoy a little freedom and torture and killing, and French food.  
"Excellent. Now the final point. Well, it should be fairly obvious, but with the two of you it is hard to know what is. In light of recent circumstances, unrest, anarchy abroad, that kind of a thing. There is an armed Muggle group that is responsible for shootings at the airport. Some of our wizards have been hit by their weapons, and we hope for it to be a mere coincidence that we sent them on a mission, only to be targeted by Muggles.  
The bottom line is, we want you to refrain from showing who you are to the world. From engaging with the French authorities who have been harsher in their security checks than normal. From engaging with Muggles unnecessarily, which means without the very best of reasons to worry for your own safety. We want you to restrain your well known...enthusiasm, and to be circumspect. To remember that this time you are serving the country and not just yourselves. Do you think you would be able to do that?" Mr Rat wondered with some undisguised skepticism.  
Bellatrix gave a sigh and rolled her eyes. "Really," she drawled. "Is this really happening, Rod," she cast a bored look at her husband. "Is this rat faced little rodent truly concerned that we'd run rampant through the airport or anywhere else doing exactly as we please? Doesn't he think that such actions would have us tossed right back into Azkaban even if the Minister finds us of use to her?" Casting a withering look back at Mr. Rat she added, "Are you really that stupid? I mean I knew you were stupid, but..."  
"She means we've got it," Rod cut in. "We're good." Though he agreed with Bella, it was more prudent to assure the stupid little rat as if he spoke poorly of them to the Minister she may change her mind. They really needed this trip. They really needed a little freedom. Perhaps the Ministry really needed them on this job, but why test them in case they had someone almost as suitable for the job who they could trust more.  
"Other people would remember about the consequences of Azkaban, with you, it is impossible to know, very well then, if you can resist the temptation, we should be ready to move on," Mr Rat concluded, whether mollified by Rod's reassurance or simply resigned, Rod could not say, and did not care either.  
"I do think we should perhaps arrive by flu into the back of that wand shop or something, as, from what you say, taking a Muggle flight to avoid detection doesn't appear to be working," Bella said dryly. She was fully prepared to think for Mr. Rat to keep her and Rod safe and alive. He was likely slow on the up take + didn't value their esteemed lives nearly as much as they did.  
"It is not a horrible idea, generally speaking," Mr Rat reluctantly conceded, making Rodolphus wonder with annoyance which Forbidden Curse would rile the official the most, when all was said and done.  
"Only, we believe the Department overseeing the Flu transportation for France has been breached. It might still be the best course of action, but be careful. Somebody from the French Ministry might be coming to investigate your documents, and, unlike us, they won't be your friends," the Ministry employee concluded with a sardonic smile.

"Well as you are providing said documents, we trust they will be in order," Bellatrix said sweetly.


	13. Chapter 13

Bad Romance  
Chapter 13: Your Vertigo Shtick  
"As I was saying," Mr Rat raised a pointing finger with what Rodolphus found to be annoying emphasis on irrelevant technicality.  
"Not everybody is as professional as we are, in this business. The documents will be fine naturally. The two of you, on the other hand, could be suspicious. When riled up, neither of you have the responses of innocent bystanders.  
It is fairly acceptable under normal circumstances for you to be the way you are. It serves us, it deters the truly dangerous elements from rebelling against out regime. We don't mind you being who you are in this regard.  
But the situation is changing, and new skills are required. When asked questions either or both of you would deem stupid, unnecessary or irrelevant," Mr Rat knowingly smirked at the last part, clearly having some private fun with his little unwanted advice.  
"You cannot allow yourself to show who you are, or how you feel about the wizard coming to investigate you. A normal innocent wizard might find themselves mildly uncomfortable under scrutiny, and only gently object to an official investigation. They would feel themselves to be helpless, under the control of the infuriating bureaucrat, but would not dare voice too strong of an objection.  
I don't usually have to instruct our agents on this matter, but the two of you are special, and no document, as solid as it may be, would cover up for your particular personality..." Mr Rat trailed off and before he could collect his thoughts and resume his bothersome lectures, Rod gave him a perfunctory nod.  
"As I said before, we'd behave, we would not betray who we are. We would be good little toys and wouldn't explode. We would get our mission done. Can we be done now, or is there something else?" the dark wizard unhappily wondered, trying to sound less querulous than he felt.  
"If you understand the import of proper behavior, than I rest my case," Mr Rat announced to Rod's delight. He could almost taste the fresh air of freedom now.  
For her part, Bellatrix wanted to beat the rat faced little prat into a puddle of putrefaction, but held her tongue with extreme effort. Sadly she knew he was right, but his lectures wouldn't help matters, now would they? They certainly wouldn't make the French authorities less annoying. He was testing them, perhaps. Trying to be as annoying as he supposed said authorities would be to test them. But no he likely wasn't that bright. No he was just being himself. Before she could say something tart, though, Rod had somehow soothed the rat's squeakings and shut him up!  
"So when do we leave and what else do we need to know concerning our arrival," she asked, somehow managing the bored tone she was aiming for rather than the vicious one that would've come far more naturally to her. Unable not to slide Rod a look to see if he approved of her level of calm, she did so, flashing her husband a quick grin because they both knew how funny that shit was.  
"There are some basic needs you might need to satisfy. Should you be in the mood to purchase groceries, we have a contact ready for you. If you prefer to preserve appearances, there is a French elf who envies the freedom of the British elves and wishes to work for us. In general we have agents situated to help you with the essentials.  
Our central French office is also there, to help out in the cases of emergency but apparate there only when there is no other choice. We suspect it to be under heavy surveillance," Mr Rat thoughtfully added  
"If you need any assistance gathering information, buying military wands, other unusual spells, I can give you a guarded spell of a location to us in Paris. Should you be arrested, the memory of the location would be erased from your mind. We would need your consent to place the spell. Then, we should be done in earnest," the official concluded, not sounding nearly as relieved at the thought of being rid of them as Rodolphus would have expected him to be.

"Of course we aren't interested in doing our own shopping," Bellatrix said, recoiling in horror. Of course the things that made ordinary boring lesser wizards recoil in horror was nothing but a pleasant cup of tea for Bellatrix Lestrange, but doing her own shopping...She shuddered at the thought.

"Yes we want the elf," she said hurriedly, unable to resist scowling at Mr. Rat.

"Sure put whatever stupid spell on us you want to keep the safety of your location but we are not getting arrested. We'll take them all down then return back here if it comes to that," she promised, eyes glittering madly at the prospect of such a delightful fight. If they thought she and Rod would just fall into some French prison that afforded them nothing...it wasn't happening. Azkaban had been enough and more than enough with its dementors sapping one's very will to live and the cold cold wind.

The mere flickering of memory caused her to reach for Rod's hand, giving it a tight squeeze. No. They were never going back there again.


	14. Chapter 14

Bad Romance  
Chapter 14: The touch of your hand  
"We don't mind your battle against the French authorities, if it comes to that. We would rather prefer your escape to incarceration. Only make sure that you don't look like yourselves when you escape and fight them off. We don't want to be publicly connected to this affair.  
The last thing the Ministry needs is an international scandal. So, please, at least maintain some decorum and disguise yourself," Mr Rat tiredly spoke, looking askance at Rodolphus for squeezing Bella's hand in return.  
Rodolphus initially wondered if the official believed them both to be some brutal beasts, incapable of affection. Then he realized that he really didn't care. The man's opinion only mattered if it was going to stop them from having a vacation. Clearly that was not going to be the case, Rodolphus happily decided, his mind tuning out the rest of Mr Rat's ramble and envisioning the two of them in Paris.  
"Normally, I tell my charges to get ready, since its going to sting a bit. In this case, I suppose I shall caution you to avoid any displays of affection at the incoming spell. Alright, here we go. Revalere mappa locii," Mr Rat suddenly spoke, touching his wand in turn to both of their temples.  
A diagram began forming in Rod's head, of how to get to the required location from the wand shop where they would be working. "Got it," Rod responded sulkily, unreasonably expecting a better quality pain after Mr Rat's warning, only to get none. He should have known, nobody could do it as well as his Bella.  
For her part, Bellatrix was picking apart the words of the spell Rat-Face had used, wondering if they could adapt it to anything useful. For that reason the pain of having information suddenly plopped into her mind, was a mere passing annoyance. She nodded in agreement to Rod's words when the thing was completed, indicating that it had worked for her as well.  
"If we have trouble with the authorities and need to escape, how are we to look different if we don't know in advance, stupid," Bellatrix asked Rat scathingly. This oversight on his part had annoyed her strongly earlier but the spell had sidetracked her for a moment.  
"Are we to constantly be in disguise, and if so you should've simply said from the beginning instead of making everything so bloody convoluted," she said, not bothering to hide her scathing honest opinion. "Do you lot prefer advanced long lasting Polly Juice or a simple physical nonmagic disguise where we change the color of our hair, make use of hideous make up and wear different styles of clothing than we normally would," she asked, once more doing Rat's thinking for him. Not for the first time and surely not for the last, she thought dryly.  
"We prefer Polly Juice of course. Our technician, Mr Binky, has developed a newer strand. We suspect it may already have been in use in some advanced households but the new strand should be relatively unknown. It is not only long lasting, it is also resilient to some spells revealing one's true identity and even small to medium range location spells," Mr Rat dryly droned on, completely ignoring Bella's valid points, Rod realized.  
He briefly pictured little children brought into the Ministry to be indoctrinated and becoming miniature copies of Mr Rat. For his own part, he could never have imagined being less than unique, being surrounded by a bunch of look alikes, having no opinion of their own, following the rules. That would have been a perfect nightmare for him, while for Mr Rat it seemed like a state of life.  
"It might taste a little more foul than other variations you may have tried," Mr Rat continued indifferently, "but as we already established that your pain tolerance is above and beyond normal, you should have no trouble at all. You have our permission to get your own Polly Juice if need be, just let us know," the Ministry official shrugged, perhaps to demonstrate his indifference to the matter at hand.  
Bellatrix's scowl didn't waver in the least at this new outpouring of information. The advanced and improved Polly Juice was interesting. Considering the fact the new Minister was working openly with goblins and elves, shamelessly utilizing the various untapped talents of both races, it was of no real surprise.  
"Yes, Ratty-Rat, but who are we to look like with the new improved Polly bloody Juice potion? Are we to be provided with strands of hair to use or are we to procure such for ourselves? If you're doing it we refuse not to be beautiful."  
Her head suddenly shot up as she glared even more harshly at Rat-face. "You were on earlier about how old we look for wand tamers. Did you forget we were to use Polly Juice or do we get to be ourselves at least sometimes? I hope it's the later because the former is going to make you look really stupid."  
Mr Rat nodded sagely, as if he'd anticipated this question all along, though Rodolphus doubted he could be that smart.  
"We intend to make it difficult for our opponents. To throw them off your tail, we need you to look like yourself part of the time, and then take Polly Juice again and transform into a younger couple. We actually have some plans for your look alikes, and that would confuse the French Ministry and anybody else who might be keeping track.  
We have our reasons to be secretive. After all, the less you know about that part of the plan, the less information can be extracted from and less enchantments would need to be placed over your memory. I believe it to be a win win situation.  
The bottom line is, you can be yourselves no less than two hours and no more than four hours a day, at your convenience. When the maximum time expires, you must use Polly Juice. And as I said before, make sure that no investigation or attempt to arrest you coincides with you being in your original bodies.  
As for the Polly Juice, we have some French wand tamers, charged with lethal negligence, and we think of using their hair to induce your change in appearance. I do believe the chance for you to find yourself less beautiful, upon transforming into younger looking bodies is most minuscule," Mr Rat concluded with an openly derogatory smirk.  
"When we are allowed to be ourselves, must this be when we are around others, or can we be having sex instead," Bellatrix asked as she stepped up closer to Rod and openly caress his crotch through his robes. Her hand continued moving along her husband's impressive length as she kept eye contact with Mr. Rat-Face. "Because I don't like shagging as much if he doesn't look like himself, you know?"  
She allowed her head to fall back, eyes widening at the memory of last night that mentioning shagging rekindled. "And you don't have to keep telling us we're not pretty because neither of us consider you in any way shaggable save perhaps by a very desperate rat," she concluded. "In other words, if you felt we were interested in you, we are, but only to break you, to hear your screams of agony and pleas for mercy," she happily elaborated.  
It was annoying how this man made her behave in such a low class manner, but she had enjoyed herself at his expense nonetheless.  
As for Rat's explanation she supposed she bought it confusing though it was. Kereston and her team were going out of their way to improve the Ministry in general, after all. And the little blonde did seem to value them more alive than dying for some sort of silly punishment, that as she'd already said, served no one in the end.  
Mr Rat has been unwavering and steady throughout their exchanges as far as Rodolphus could tell. Bella's comment was the first that broke through his façade of indifference, and Rod did not think it was even the promise of torture that did it.  
Visibly shuddering, clearly aghast at what he has heard, Mr Rat sternly nodded. "Yes, you may engage in your debauchery looking like yourselves. It would probably be an affront to the cruelest criminals should you assume their semblance during your vulgar display of bestiality. We would not want to deprive you of your baser passions.  
After all, our new Ministry might be harsh, but it is also fair. and allows people the freedom they crave the most. Hopefully even wizards like you can appreciate that much," Mr Rat concluded, sounding almost offended at the idea that someone might object to his approval of the Ministry's policies.

"So are you going to finish now, right here in front of them, or do we continue this later,' Bellatrix asked Rod, hand still tantalizing his erection through his robes, gaze briefly moving to his face as she spoke before returning unwaveringly to Mr. Rat's. She held the official's gaze, a smirk curving her lips. This was almost worth it. Sad that she had to come up with subtle forms of torture, but she was anything if not creative.

Rodolphus was aiming for tactful but the test has been annoying and he could feel tactful any longer. "I am ready, ma Belle, get me going sweetheart, yes!" he exclaimed, losing all control over his senses.


	15. Chapter 15

Bad Romance  
Chapter 15: You and me could write a bad romance 

"Disgusting, filthy pigs," Rodolphus vaguely heard Mr Rat's feeble objections through the unstoppable eruption of his pleasure.  
He also thought he heard Bella objecting to something, at first wondering if he hurt her somehow.

Then as he felt his lower body itching and burning all at the same time, he realized some type of 'scrugify" spell was applied to both of them at the same time. 

As many other spells performed by Mr Rat, Rod found this one to be equally effective. He was now completely clean, and did not really mind the discomfort in the body. He needed the act of physical gratification for some time, and now was as good of a time as ever. 

"I cannot believe some of my relatives served with the likes of you," Mr Rat growled, trying to find the proper documents but losing his place in the file folder due to obvious outrage. 

"The name is Radamnthus Rowle," Mr Rat sternly declared, but if he expected some kind of response, Rodolphus could not think of one. The name meant nothing to him as far as he could remember, unless it would return to him when the haze associated with the recent pleasure finally retreated. 

"Bella, is that supposed to sound familiar or something," Rod yawned while asking, his lack of enthusiasm as clear as his interest in being tactful. "Cause I don't remember a name like this. You'd think, if it were important, I would," Rod spoke sincerely, making Mr Rat fume for a little while longer, until he was finally able to procure the relevant documents. 

"Here is all you'll need for your journey, if you have further requests, you know how to contact us," Mr Rat spoke, his anger changing into mild indignation. Well, as far as Rodolphus was concerned, even the temporary triumph of unsettling the man was worth it. 

"Hey the names actually begin with R...Like, Rat," Bellatrix crowed with laughter as she looked gleefully over to Rod.  
"So were your relatives Death Eaters," Bellatrix asked Mr. Rat, actually interested in the answer. If the man had to be dull as all get out, perhaps his family tree was a bit more interesting. One could only hope. 

"What a ridiculous nickname. Naturally you would be that immature. I should not have expected anything less from you. I am just hopeful you will manage to walk and talk almost like an adult in France, without betraying yourself. Perhaps you will be in luck and the French wizards will be just as childish. 

But truly, how can you be ignorant of the fact that several of my relatives were Death Eaters. Have you never heard of Euphemia Rowle? Rowenia Rowle? Not even the despicable Thorfinn Rowle? They were all my second cousins," the man who would forever remain Mr Rat in Rodolphus' mind indignantly demanded. 

Clearly noticing their blank stares, he should his head with great exasperation. "I expected you to at least be aware of your own side. I have to wonder what are you good for, but then your intolerable behavior is answer enough. I am relieved to see you leaving the country. May you be the pox on the French soil, the hex that ruins our enemies..." thinking of further curses Mr Rat trailed off, making Rod giggle at his failed attempts to find better words. 

"Our lord...the dark lord," Bellatrix hastily corrected herself, knowing that the correction likely wouldn't please the Ministry official any more than the first title had. Only followers referred to him as the dark lord, after all. "He had many followers," she hastily continued, disdain heavy in her voice. "We were the highest ranking and were not required to burden our memories with the names of lesser underlings. I am so sorry that your wittle family wasn't important enough. It appears that all of you are only mediocre, no matter which faction you serve," she concluded with a smirk. 

Even as she spoke with the old familiar pride of her former lord, Bellatrix couldn't help but remember her horror of yesterday. Then she had not felt so loyal. It was confusing, annoying and disgusting. Sighing she placed her mind on what truly mattered. Right now.  
"So we can leave today," she asked, ignoring the rest of Rat's jabs. they were, like him, weak and ineffectual and not worth her attention if she couldn't torture him. 

"Please do, if you just start doing anything useful abroad, I won't feel like I have been wasting my time,' Mr Rat tiredly agreed and Rodolphus found himself smirking. At the thought that this most pathetic of wizards was actually thinking something similar to the thoughts he privately entertained himself. That despite everything, Mr Rat was one annoying step closer to true freedom. And that he would feel like it was all worth it, once he was freed of Rat's petty tyranny.

Bellatrix briefly considered returning to their small apartment within the compound before departing, then realized they had no important possessions there. Nothing they'd miss, nothing they truly needed to take along with them that the Ministry wasn't providing.

They could shop for nicer clothes in France. She found herself looking forward to the prospect with a thrill. How long had it been since she'd shopped? Many many years. Before being locked away in Azkaban the first time. Even though serving the Ministry allowed them the mild illusion of freedom, both she and Rod knew it for what it was. But this trip would be different. The illusion of freedom would be far more real.


	16. Chapter 16

Bad Romance, chapter 16,  
Et je veux ta revanche 

Bellatrix held Rod's hand as they stepped into the fireplace. Her free hand clutched a small leather case that held money and all the documents they would need plus some informational files the Minister had put together for them to read. Those surely concerned anything about the mission they hadn't been directly told yet. Mr. Rat had taken them to a small house in down town London rather than risking the use of a fireplace at the Ministry that could be directly traced. Whatever this shit was, the Ministry really didn't want to be directly linked until it was over. This was both worrisome and exciting for Bellatrix at once.  
As they stepped through to the otherside, no farewells given to Mr. Rat, she found herself coughing as her throat rebelled against some sort of acrid smoke that the French hearth was giving off as they stepped out. Once they were safely and securely at their new destination, meaning out of the fireplace, she released Rodolphus's hand and began wiping the soot from her clothes before remembering that she could just clean it with her damn wand. So rarely had she a wand to hand to use for ordinary things over the past decades, it rarely came to mind first, sadly. Muttering curses under her breath, she drew said wand from her right sleeve and flicked it at her robes then her hair before remembering to clean her face just in case any had gotten there as well.  
"Sorry about that," she heard a young female voice calling out as it approached. "It's the spell we use to alert us if anyone uses the floo. Just in case someone uses it that we don't want here, you know. The coughing gives anyone away," the voice continued happily. The accent was French but not heavily so, indicating the witch had learned her English well. This must be the sister of the brother and sister team, Bellatrix reasoned. The door to the back room opened and a thin witch of average height entered. Her hair was so frizzy it went beyond curly. Long and full, it surrounded her nearly like a centimeter thick cloak of blonde. Bellatrix tried not to stare, but her eyes just wouldn't obey. Couldn't a taming spell be used on that hair? And people called hers wild. They needed to get a load of this one's.  
"Is the hair intentional," she couldn't help but ask, noticing the young woman's next distinguishing feature, a very long sharp nose. If the brother looked as strange, the two were very likely spinsters or whatever it was that they called the blokes no one wanted to marry.  
"Oh indeed," the witch said with a cheerful smile. "I have so many spells woven into my hair for protection, detection, convenience, it's just easy to hide it all in my hair," the witch sang cheerfully.  
"Curls are very good for that you know, though most of my curls are a bit stretched."  
Bellatrix had no idea what that meant and decided she didn't care.  
"We're not supposed to live in this back room, are we," she demanded as politely as possible. She knew they were supposed to be laying low but if the Ministry expected them to stay in this hole she'd be stepping right back through the floo to ring some necks!  
"Oh indeed not," the witch assured, gesturing them to follow her out into the front of the shop.  
"It's safe to talk, we're closed for the evening," she said, and Bellatrix noticed the pleasant smell of brewing tea. Bellatrix decided she very much liked it here. The tea made the place feel suddenly warm in a way she'd not realized she missed. Laughing with joy as her gaze fell on Rod, she threw her arms around his waist and spun him around in the center of the now evening dimmed shop. "Rod! We're free," she cried, giving a wild laugh as the fact finally sunk in.  
"We are indeed," Rodolphus Lestrange agreed, somehow more overwhelmed by freedom that he could have expected. Perhaps he thought he would feel right at home. Since his family line was from here, some sense of belonging or familiarity might have been in order. 

Perhaps that would take place later, if they had a chance to pay a visit to the family graves, but right now, he was still overwhelmed, Bella's conversation with the French witch almost seeming surreal. Deciding that their last conversation with Mister Rat blew his mind more than he knew, and that he would get over it, Rod's somber face allowed itself to embrace a tentative smile. With anticipation of better things to come.

"So are the two of you really the lestranges or was the British Ministry just having us on," the blonde witch asked, eyes suddenly widening in intrigued interest as she leaned forward on the balls of her feet.

Bellatrix gave a mad smile, whipping her wand up at a spot on the wall just beside the witch's right ear, or where it likely was buried under that insane mass of hair. "Crucio," Bellatrix crowed, and the plaster of the wall crackled, hairline cracks spreading out in several thick lines down the wallpaper. The witch screamed and Bellatrix's smile widened. Of course she'd not aimed for the witch.

Perhaps hurting her wouldn't break the vow she and Rod were forced to take for the British Ministry, but she didn't want to press her luck for no reason. It was just fun to scare the woman. From the look in her eye when she'd asked, she likely wanted to be scared anyway. So many people did. They were drawn to that which they feared, almost like mad fanitics.

"Bellatrix Lestrange never misses," Bella told the young witch. "So...Am I the infamous Bellatrix Lestrange and did I aim for the wall or am I merely...someone else?"

"You're Bellatrix," the witch answered shakily. She looked as shaken as she sounded, Bella thought happily.

"Hey don't blame me, you did ask," she said happily. That had been fun.

"I'm Blanche, by the way," the witch said, and Bellatrix's smile grew to hear the wild haired witch's voice was still shaking. They were still feared. They still had it!


	17. Chapter 17

Bad Romance  
Chapter 17,  
Walk, walk fashion baby

Rodolphus Lestrange was relishing the taste of freedom. But he was mistaken to believe it was just about France, a new place to start over or anything of that kind. It was more about Bella, who was herself, inspired him to be himself and embodied the flavor of freedom within her very person.

Her experiment with Blanche made him feel like the old days, and he liked it for what it was. But as much as he hated being responsible, they had to deliver their duty to the Ministry. He simply had to think strategically he knew.

Unsure where to start, he decided to cover all the basics. "Alright then. Now that we made the introductions all proper like, tell us what you usually do in here. Or better yet, to give you some sense of what I need, show us what we should pretend to be doing. What was your brother's name again," Rod belatedly wondered, his smile genuinely eager, at the thought of grand pleasures he and Bella were going to uncover in this city.

"What, didn't the Ministry tell you anything, then," Blanche questioned, peering at Rod rather around her massive curtain of hair.

"Oh they did, but not very convincingly. Our contact was...difficult, to say the least, so I thought to compare your practical expertise with his theoretical one," Rod grudgingly explained.

"I never said my brother's name once so I can't very tell it to you again, but I can tell it to you for the first time if you like, though perhaps it would be more interesting if we waited until he actually arrived. I can promise it isn't Voldemort, though, if that helps," she said, then erupted into merry laughter as she clapped her hands. She obviously believed she'd made a grand joke.

Rodolphus had to admit his social instincts were a bit rusty. Even his work for the Ministry did not teach him well the art of the conversation. And now he knew why. He did not like conversing. He even regretted his attempt at civility. The French witch was clearly more responsive to Bella's show of power than his own semi civilized efforts at getting information.

"It doesn't in the least. Whatever one says about the Dark...Voldemort," Rod was proud of himself for being able to amend his customary way of referring to his liege lord. "Voldemort was at least highly adept at what he did, which is something we should all strive for. I suppose it can wait though. It is like you said, his name doesn't matter that much," the dark wizard sighed with resignation, the strange conversation unexpectedly exhausting him.

Blanche tittered again with laughter and Bellatrix found herself watching dispassionately rather than lunging for the odd looking witch angrily as she once would've. "Oh he was really good at getting himself killed by what? A fifth rate wizard, that Potter fellow," Blanche asked Rodolphus merrily. "Or was it breaking his soul into around seven bits that you mean that he was good at? I'm sorry I can sometimes become confused when things get too ridiculous!"

Rodolphus Lestrange had been a dedicated follower of the Dark Lord. He was not sure where Bella stood on the matter any more, but he was among the faithful ones, even now. He clung to this belief, as it allowed him to survive the madness of previously unimaginable changes. He was loyal to the new regime as well, but surely his long standing dedication to the Dark Lord took precedence. He would have believed himself a staunch defender of the old ideals even now and was surprised to find himself doing exactly nothing, much like Bella.

He could have justified his lack of action as being loyal to his vows, being afraid of what the Ministry would take away now as punishment, when he hd barely any sanity left. But the truth of it was, the sadder truth, that for the first time in his life, Rodolphus had nothing to counter the arguments with. He could not afford to simply Crucio the witch, which was always a winning conversation ender.

But conceptually, he did not feel able to defend the Dark Lord's failure. There was some talk of doom and gloom prophecies Voldemort had to allegedly follow with Potter, but Rodolphus could not subscribe to such nonsense, and nothing else could explain how a weakling like Potter could defeat him. And then there was the matter of the Horcruxes, a choice even harder to defend, which was probably why they were all kept in the dark about it, while the Dark Lord was busily destroying himself, piece by gory piece.

Rodolphus had nothing at all to say, and was at first aghast with himself. Then, like a wave of relief washed over him as he considered himself and his choices. He was a loyal man, always has been. He served one master, and now was serving a better one, just as faithfully. Reassuring himself, he uncomfortably cleared his throat but remained silent, hoping the French witch would move on to something else.

"Anyway...We are wand makers. And of course as such we sell them too. You are to be wand tamers. It's a darker practice but you know. we don't have the same silly ideals as many who are bound by pointless empty morals do."

"You don't? Then prey tell, how dark have you gotten? What do you believe in then," Rod wondered, finally mildly intrigued in spite of his better senses. He supposed it wouldn't hurt if they found some common grounds with their French hosts.

Blanche's face suddenly became thoughtful and very still as she considered Rodolphus's question. Now Bellatrix was paying attention though she wasn't completely sure why she bothered. "I believe in myself," the French witch said simply. "I believe in doing what is necessary to get what I want. Nothing more or less."

"Well, that is a good, self serving attitude. Neither of us can disapprove of that," Rod magnanimously declared, uncomfortable with the entire conversation thus far and trying to look just about anywhere else.


	18. Chapter 18

Bad Romance chapter 18, I'm a free bitch baby 

Bellatrix was almost relieved when Rod had no comeback for Blanche's uncomfortable truths concerning the Former dark lord. Before they should've fought against such mindlessly but now...  
The dark lord most probably wasn't who they'd believed him to be ever. Even before his first death he had done some dreadful things that Bellatrix and Rod and the rest hadn't even known about.

Suddenly Bellatrix was feeling it difficult to breathe and the small shop felt stifling.  
He had taken Kreacher from Regulus or tried. He could've used any elf, and he'd done THAT to dear loyal Kreacher! For no reason! Bellatrix hadn't known at the time, but now she knew too much. The dark lord's plan had failed. Kreacher wasn't taken from Regulus. Kreacher survived and instead Regulus was lost to the dark lord's service forever. Had this angered him, or had he even noticed or cared? 

To take something a loyal follower loved or held dear just because one could...well it didn't instill loyalty. Oh god, Regulus... 

"We've got to go...I mean we need to get a feel for the city. We'll be back later," she told Blanche, suddenly finding coherent thoughts and words difficult. She needed fresh air and the freedom of open sky. So rare for them these days and it was just what they needed right now...And had for a long time. Only now perhaps they could actually take it and use it properly. 

"Alright, then. We've a house over the shop, just pop up whenever until you decide if you're staying with us or elsewhere," Blanche said, unconcerned as she simply nodded. Bellatrix nodded back. 

"Very well, then. Thanks." And she dragged Rod out by the arm. On the street there were so many people, all speaking French, of course. But it didn't of it mattered. Instead of studying the brilliant architecture, she stared up at the sky. 

"We're free, Rod!" She threw her arms around him and found herself laughing madly.  
"That right there will get you noticed," Blanche hissed, tugging at her sleeve. "Go out and do what you want, but pull it together, woman." 

Still mildly uncomfortable, because of his inability to convince the French witch, Rodolphus thinly smiled at Bella, but returned her hug. 

He has been in charge for a while now. Initiating their cooperation with the new regime, finding his way to working for the Ministry. Bella had let him, and was an eager follower, but as he lost his certainty in the wisdom of his previous decisions, he has almost begun wishing for her guidance once more. 

Blanche's remark reminded him that things were different now. That they weren't independent agents after all. And worse of all was that his first instinct was still to obey. To obey a stranger he knew nothing about, a foreigner, and he had almost followed the instinct and removed his arms from Bella's waste. 

The memory of Azkaban and unpleasant adjustments in the following years made his rebelliousness fade and his obedience become the primary tool of their survival. But just now, he did not like himself very much for the instinctive desire to obey. 

Trying to cling to something more familiar, something that should have been a greater part of him than anything else, Rod thought back on his family history. 

"Bella dear, how do you feel about sea food? There is a place in Paris father often mentioned. He spoke of how relaxing it was, when the entrapment spell caught the fish right outside, basically in front of the customer's eyes. How the cooking spell began frying it. 

He said he didn't know what it was. Proper respect shown by the staff, the walls decorated with familiar and appropriate coats of arms, or the same spells consistently applied from day to day, but he found it very familiar, like a taste of home. 

I think I haven't been to Madame de Pompadour at all, or maybe since I was very little, but I have an inkling of visiting it, to see if it still has the old air of prestige and comfort. Of course if you're not hungry, there is also the family crypt we can visit, or just walk a bit. What are you in the mood for, my love?" Rod softly wondered, feeling a little confused but finding comfort in his spouse's warm embrace. 

"Sure let's go try out some seafood," Bellatrix said, slipping her hand around Rodolphus's arm. Still strong and muscular for all its time in Azkaban, and the relatively recent black ops work hadn't hurt. She would be glad to get further away from Blanche, because if she wanted the witch over her shoulder, she'd have invited her out with them, which she obviously had not. + she was hungry and seafood made sex with Rod extra hot later. 

"We'll eat, then visit the crypt and perhaps shag there, then walk around," she suggested, turning to sweep her husband with an eager excited glance. They were free and could do whatever they liked within reason and a little outside of it if they were lucky. That was more intoxicating than any drink she could imagine, no matter how strong. 

"I like the idea of shagging in the crypt quite a lot, you know what they say about sea food..." Rod spoke suggestively although the more he thought about it, the less he could remember if it was sea food that was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, or a tropical fruit, or something else altogether.  
His mind was too busy trying to recall how to get to the sea food place instead. His dad must have told him more than once, but for Rodolphus it was all more like a family legend, where the details did not matter as much as the general principle. Besides, for a while now, he hasn't expected the chance to be free, to be able to use the opportunity. 

"I think it starts with a revealing spell, that opens up a tunnel only wizards can see, between the buildings. I think that was the first step. The second one was...what was it, Ah yes, some sort of illumination spell, because the passage from central Paris was left purposefully dark. Alright let's try this, " Rod murmured half to himself. 

"Revalere, lux," he intoned in turn, wondering if his rendition of the old Latin words was correct.

"No, that's not quite it, maybe...Revalere, clara, that sounds about right," Rodolphus concluded, satisfied with himself.

Bella slid her hand down Rod's muscular arm to clutch his strong hand. He remembered the spell that revealed magical Paris with all its secrets hidden from ignorant filthy Muggle eyes.

"You remembered it, Roddy. I'm so proud of you," she said, turning to her husband with shining eyes. "You're still the great wizard you always were. We both are!" She gave a mad laugh. The two of them still had it and after everything they were still together and right now free! They were free and about to go have erotic oysters then shag in the Lestrange family crypt! They were in the most romantic city in the world and their romance was bad...in the best and darkest of ways.


End file.
